(Or can i wake up before they do)
I used to blog a minimum of three posts a week. My favorite time to get to it was over my slow-paced morning coffee, gathering my thoughts, preparing for another day of trying to make it in the world. I had time to think of intent, goals- and put on my game face.
Then I birthed twins. They’re two now. There’s no “game face” to be had, and I’m lucky if a face gets put on at all… the pace of my morning coffee is now a rushed, desperate one- with the daily goal of waking up long before they do. When mommy’s up, somehow they always know.
I didn’t enter into the world of parenting blind to these facts, as much as I’ve always lived in a cave one cannot escape the cliche statements that every parent has made over the course of thousands of years. I was aware that it would be difficult to keep attempting that “art career”, and that it’d be even harder than it was before.
Not that I used to make great professional choices, I’m in the habit of picking plummeting trends as my subject matter of focus, or death-bound industries to enter full-on. So any lack of output is barely due to the sudden lack of time. But I didn’t expect the little cute buggers to try and beat me to my early mornings (no matter how early I make them).
It must be a game, because they’re laughing while they’re doing it. 5 am, 6am, 7- doesn’t matter. Their very consistent 8 am wake-up will only change on the exact days I creep upstairs to another floor, tiptoe on cloud-like slippers, and and sit down at my computer. Oh, and they wait until I’m at my laptop. Suddenly a giggling shriek will go out over the monitor, no less than the very moment my fingers hit the keyboard.
What about bedtime?
Yes, of course I always try and work at night. But chasing around two toddlers doesn’t lend itself to having a ton of energy after 7pm. And there’s only so much coffee the stomach should be subjected to.
I’ve always preferred mornings for creativity, despite what long time friends might have assumed. I may look like a dirty stay up howling at the moon but I’m actually a morning person- my natural rhythms go for 5:30 am, which is why I’ll end up in Pennsylvania some day. Gripping my hot mug o’ Joe in the pre-sunrise snow with that “I’m somehow superior because you’re still asleep” attitude so prevalent in Peleton ads.
Now I’m not sure what sense it makes, but Daddy just got a new job, and he’s up very early, so that means they suddenly aren’t.
I have no idea how that lulls them back into a deep slumber. He’s not whisper quiet while he’s doing his morning thing. He also wears work boots. They’re loud. But why question it?
In preparation for a recent selling event I was painting 3D printed ornaments, and wouldn’t you know, I was able to get myself upstairs and clocking AM hours in my art studio for a consistent three weeks. Even run on the basement treadmill.
No, none of it makes sense. But I’ll take it.
I have a very deep newfound respect for moms who manage to make their own careers from art, Etsy businesses, and the like, and do it from home with their kids always around. It’s quite an accomplishment. And I apologize for my years of judgmental scoffing at ladies pushing strollers in athletic pants. I’m one of you now, and I couldn’t be any prouder to join your ranks.